Moving abroad with kids sounds adventurous.
Exciting.
Exotic.
Character-building.
And it is…
Until you realize:
You’ve left your entire support system behind.
No family.
No friends.
No built-in babysitter.
No emergency backup.
Just you… in a new country… with tiny humans depending on you for literally everything.
No pressure.
The “Wait… We Have No Village” Moment
When you travel, you’re temporarily out of your comfort zone.
When you move abroad?
Your comfort zone is gone.
And suddenly the things you once took for granted feel enormous:
• Date night coverage
• Sick-day help
• Someone to call in a crisis
• A break
• A breather
Because parenting without a village hits differently.
The Plot Twist: I Wasn’t Even Looking for Childcare
Here’s the part that still makes me laugh.
I wasn’t searching for a nanny.
I wasn’t interviewing candidates.
I wasn’t even thinking about childcare.
During our “look-see” trip, that whirlwind visit where companies parade you around to convince you life abroad will be magical, we were introduced to the idea of hiring household help.
And not casually.
More like…
“You’ll need a nanny.”
Excuse me?
“Everyone has one.”
Oh?
“It’s normal here.”
Uh huh…
“You’re helping the local economy.”
Well now I feel morally obligated.
Because in Indonesia, This Is Completely Normal
In Indonesia, employing household staff is far more common than in the U.S.
Not a luxury.
Not a celebrity lifestyle.
Just everyday structure for many families.
We quickly learned:
• Some nannies are live-in
• Some are live-out
• Many become deeply integrated into family life
Meanwhile I was internally processing:
“Wait… I just moved continents and now I’m hiring someone to help raise my child??”
Enter: Ibu Atik
Despite my hesitation, we met Ibu Atik.
Warm.
Calm.
Steady.
The kind of presence that immediately softens your anxiety — even when your brain is screaming THIS IS ALL HAPPENING VERY FAST.
I didn’t know then just how pivotal she would become in our lives.
Three Weeks Later… Chaos
Three weeks into living in Indonesia:
Boom! Appendicitis.
Because apparently relocation stress wasn’t enough excitement for my body.
The Moment That Changed Everything
Standing in a Jakarta hospital preparing for emergency surgery, I faced something no expat parent ever feels ready for:
Handing my baby over.
To someone I’d only known for weeks.
Trusting completely.
What She Did Still Leaves Me Speechless
Without hesitation, Ibu Atik:
• Left her village an hour away
• Battled legendary Jakarta traffic
• Arrived on a Saturday
• Calmly took my daughter
• Stayed
• Reassured me
• Then cared for my baby overnight
While I lay there thinking:
“How is this woman already my lifeline?”
Side Note: We Couldn’t Even Drive
Another expat twist:
We weren’t allowed to drive ourselves.
We were required to have a company driver.
Which meant that day required trusting:
✔ My nanny
✔ Our driver
✔ A completely foreign system
✔ A brand-new version of “my village”
The Emotional Reality No One Warns You About
No one prepares you for how vulnerable expat life can feel.
How quickly you must:
• Release control
• Accept help
• Build trust at lightning speed
• Adapt emotionally
It was terrifying.
And also…
One of the most profound lessons of my life.
Because She Became So Much More Than “Help”
Ibu Atik became:
Stability
Comfort
Support
Family
Not something I planned.
But exactly what we needed.
And My Village Slowly Rebuilt Itself
Between:
• Our nanny
• Our driver
• Other expat wives
• New friendships
A new support system formed.
Different from home.
But real.
Strong.
Lifesaving in its own way.
What Indonesia Taught Me
• Normal looks different everywhere
• Help is cultural, not indulgent
• Trust can grow quickly
• Villages can be rebuilt
• Support comes in unexpected forms
And sometimes…
The thing you never planned for becomes the thing you can’t imagine surviving without.
Kilometers with Kids 
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